Sirius' Single Situation
by NeonDomino
Summary: A Sirius Black collection based around problems single people face. WolfStar. [12] Where Sirius writes fanfiction about Remus and Remus reads it. [13] Sirius can't work out why his boyfriend (now ex) doesn't like the cardigan he bought for him. At least the sales assistant in the shop understands. [14] Sirius doesn't like cats... but Remus works at an animal shelter.
1. Third Wheel

So... another new collection.

I'm hoping to get 14 chapters up for this, though I may get less than that. Whatever happens, this collection will be marked as finished on the 1st March.

The prompts are a list of problems that can befall single people, though there will be some WolfStar in here. :)

* * *

Written for: Hogwarts - February Event: Singletons' Problems \- When you are a '3rd wheel'

* * *

 **Third Wheel**

* * *

Sirius grinned as he dropped down on the seat at the end of the row. He had wanted to see this movie for weeks and James had kept the afternoon free for it.

As James took his seat, his phone began ringing and James pulled it out from his pocket. "Hey gorgeous," he said, his voice deeper than usual. Sirius rolled his eyes, before pulling out his phone and checking it.

No messages, but that was nothing new.

He sighed, putting the phone away again, catching the end of James' conversation.

"See you soon, Lilykins," James murmured, before pushing the phone back into his pocket. He turned to Sirius. "I'm going to get snacks," he said. "Want anything?"

Sirius nodded his head. "Yeah, if you're getting stuff, can you bring me a drink and popcorn?" he asked. "Some smarties too."

James nodded, quickly slipping from his seat. Sirius moved his legs so James could pass him. Settling down in his seat again, Sirius adjusted his clothes and pushed his braid from his shoulder, before checking his phone once more, for lack of anything else to do.

He glanced up as a group started up the stairs, he couldn't help but notice a guy at the back of the group, his hands in his jeans pockets. Sirius' eyes lingered on the man, taking in all the details he could in the darkened room. Amber eyes moved around, before landing on him and Sirius couldn't help but smile hopefully.

The man smiled back shyly before the group sat down two rows in front Sirius watched the doors, his eyes only moving back when the guy turned around in his seat, catching Sirius' eye again.

If it wasn't dark in there, Sirius was certain the man would be blushing at being caught out, and winked at him. Oh yes, the stranger was interested. It took Sirius only a split second to decide to give the man his number on the way out after the film finished.

He looked back as the doors opened again, his smile falling at the sight of James and Lily.

When did Lily get here?

He watched them come up the stairs and James grinned guiltily. "Sirius, Lily called and was in the area. You don't mind that I invited her along, do you?"

Sirius gave a half-shrug, standing up so James and Lily could go to their seats. James passed him his snacks, before taking a seat with Lily between them.

Sirius frowned at the screen. With Lily sitting next to him, he wouldn't even be able to chat with James before the film.

He hated when James brought Lily anywhere with them. Sirius was always stuck as the third-wheel. That's why he planned the cinema for just him and James.

But James had betrayed him.

...oOo...

Did they have to be so loud? Sirius wondered. He was certain he could hear the couple next to him snogging louder than the film. Lily's elbow knocked his arm, but Sirius clung to the armrest tightly. He wasn't giving it up.

Cardigan-guy turned around a few more times, either sharing a smile with him, or sending him a pitying glance as Sirius slumped in his seat.

"James," Lily said, breathlessly. Sirius didn't even want to turn his head, but he didn't doubt that they were going to get thrown out. He grabbed the remainder of his popcorn and sweets, his drink, and his jacket, and got up.

He passed by the cute guy, winking on his way past and dropping down into a space a few rows in front. Immediately it was much better. He could watch the movie without interruptions. He settled back in the seat and turned his attention to the screen.

He almost jumped when someone dropped down into the seat next to him. Thinking it was James, he turned to say something rude, but froze at the sight of the guy he had been watching.

"This seat isn't taken, is it?" the guy asked quietly, not sounding confident in the slightest. He bit his lip, watching Sirius hopefully.

Sirius shook his head, grinning widely. He held out his packet of smarties. "Want some?" he whispered.

"I'm Remus," he said, reaching into the packet and taking a few out.

"Sirius," he replied. "If we're at the cinema together, does this count as a first date?"

Sirius watched Remus' smile widen adorably. There was a slight nod before Remus turned back to the screen. Sirius couldn't keep the smile off his lips. Maybe Lily's presence was useful after all?

* * *

763 words

Review please :)


	2. Dateless

Written for: Hogwarts - February Event: Singletons' Problems \- When you have no date for Valentine's Day

* * *

 **Dateless**

* * *

Sirius joined the long queue at the supermarket, holding a basket with four bottles of wine and a soft toy. He just couldn't help himself. The wine was all half-price and the soft-toy was adorable (and for Alice in celebration of them both being single).

He glanced at the man in front of him, his eyebrows raising at the large amount of chocolate in his trolley. He had never seen people buy so much chocolate: not even at Christmas. It was astonishing. He couldn't help but say something.

"Either it's your first Valentine's Day with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or you've really screwed up and have a lot to apologise for," Sirius joked.

The guy turned as Sirius started talking, a guilty expression on his face. Sirius took a moment to stare at him, taking in his features and realising quickly that the man in the dorky cardigan was extremely gorgeous (and clearly taken) since he was buying so much.

"Oh this… I… well, I… it's all half price!" the stranger said, blushing. "I spend a fortune on chocolate and then they just stick everything as fifty-percent off or buy one get one free. It's a smart move to stock up now." His eyes moved to Sirius' basket with the wine and soft toy. "Hot date?"

"Same as you," Sirius admitted. "Though I don't usually spend a fortune on alcohol. My plan tonight is to stay in with my best single friend, have a few drinks and watch anything that isn't a rom-com."

"And the teddy?"

"It's for my best friend because I know she'll complain that she didn't get anything," Sirius replied, chuckling.

"Boyfriend."

Sirius blinked. "What?"

The guy smiled adorably. "You said boyfriend or girlfriend… I was just… I mean, I don't have a boyfriend, but… but if I were in a relationship, it's most likely be boyfriend." He cleared his throat. "So, tonight is Anti-Valentines?" He looked at Sirius shyly and Sirius could tell that the guy was struggling with what to say.

"Yeah," Sirius said, delighted that this guy was trying to make it clear that he was single and available. "But tomorrow isn't, so how about I take you to dinner?"

"I'd like that." The guy quickly pulled out his phone to exchange numbers. "I'm Remus, by the way," the man said.

"Sirius," he replied, before reciting his phone number, double checking Remus had it correct before allowing him to turn to talk to the cashier.

He'd make sure not to mention this to Alice. It was against Anti-Valentine's rules to chat up men in the supermarket, but for Remus, he'd make an exception.

And perhaps Remus had a friend for Alice...

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Review please :)


	3. Not So Fake

Written for: Hogwarts - February Event: Singletons' Problems \- When you have to attend a wedding or work function alone where everyone else will be bringing a date/significant other.

Writing Club: World Marriage Day - Write about someone getting married, or attending a wedding.

Wizarding D&D Daily Challenge - Marble

* * *

 **Not So Fake**

* * *

"No date?"

Sirius bristled at the voice. It sounded as greasy as the man's hair, in his opinion. He turned to see the black-eyed man staring at him in cruel amusement before turning to meet Lucius' grey eyes.

"You remember Severus," Lucius murmured.

Sirius nodded, his gaze narrowed. "How can I forget? You were shagging him in our bed."

"My bed," Lucius corrected him. "As you were still in the process of moving in, the bed was still very much mine."

"Oh, my mistake," Sirius snapped. "That gives you all the right to do it."

"Don't waste your time on him," Snape said, his smirk widening. "He's bitter because he's alone."

"I'm not alone," Sirius lied. "I… I'm seeing someone."

"Well, I look forward to see him at the reception," Snape replied.

...oOo...

Sirius was very aware of the empty space next to him at the wedding. That space would have been Lucius' place, but Lucius had cancelled.

Well, Sirius had uninvited him as his plus-one after finding him in bed with Snape. Clearly Snape had taken the opportunity to invite Lucius instead.

So instead of Snape being the loser at the wedding with no date, Sirius was.

Everyone else at the reception was sitting with someone whilst they were waiting for James and Lily to turn up. Alice and Frank, who were sitting at the same table, had included Sirius in their conversation, but he was feeling a little bitter about his single status.

Especially after faced with all of the couples.

...oOo...

Sirius put the cigarette to his lips as he stood outside the doors of the function hall. He barely paid attention as some people came out from the doors for some air or for a smoke and noticed even less when they headed back inside again.

Sirius assumed they were at a different function in one of the other rooms.

"So, your date still hasn't showed?"

Sirius frowned as he pulled out another cigarette and lit it. "Not yet," he muttered, wondering if he could just pull up an escort service on his phone and _hire_ a date.

"You're not going to do better than me," Lucius told him. "You shouldn't have ended things. You aren't happy being alone."

"I'm happier being alone than with a man who'll have sex with people like Snape when he thinks I'm not going to be home," Sirius snapped. "I ended things over a month ago; get over yourself, Lucius."

"At least I don't have to fake a relationship," Lucius replied. "It's quite pathetic, but then again, you've always been pathetic. I don't know what I ever saw in you—"

"There you are!" a man said from the doorway, looking between the pair before walking over. He leaned in, placing a kiss to Sirius' cheek, before turning to Lucius.

"Remus Lupin," he said, holding out his hand whilst looping the other one around Sirius' waist.

Lucius glanced at his hand in disgust.

"Sorry I wasn't at the wedding, work obligations. I'm here now. Love, you want to show me where we're sitting?"

"But you were inside?"

"I headed inside to use the loo," the man said. "After that, I think I walked into the wrong hall. I'm a little turned around, but I'm here now."

Sirius suddenly realised this man had to be from the event in the other hall. More than that, this man was pretending to be his boyfriend to help him save face.

"Yeah, sure," he said, dropping his cigarette and putting it out. "Come on, love. I need to use the loo first though."

The pair headed inside, and Remus led the way to the bathroom.

"How much do you want for pretending?" Sirius asked as the door closed.

Remus snorted as he leaned against the marble counter. "You think I did this for money? Not in the slightest."

"Then why?" Sirius asked. "People don't do things for strangers for free."

Remus hesitated. "Okay, truth be told, there's a guy that won't leave me alone that's been bothering me for a date every time he sees me around. A fake boyfriend for the next few minutes would help. After today, I can just keep telling him you exist…"

Sirius nodded, grinning. "Okay, deal," he agreed. "Let's go into mine until after dinner, then we'll go into yours?"

"Also… I know it's not any of my business, but that guy… he said some pretty nasty things. Guys like that aren't worth your time. As for being pathetic - I don't think you are."

"Thanks," Sirius murmured. "I'm Sirius Black." He held his hand out.

"Remus Lupin, though I've already said that," Remus replied, shaking his hand and grinning. "So, we keep this simple: We've only been dating for three weeks which is why people don't know about this."

"And we met…" Sirius paused in thought.

"At the library? Book-shop?" Remus suggested.

Sirius chuckled and shook his head. "No-one would believe that."

"Okay, so how about we both were ordering take-away at the same place and just started talking and exchanged numbers?"

"I like that," Sirius agreed. "Okay, personal stuff. My best friend is James, his wife is Lily. James is like a brother to me. I have a brother too, but I'm estranged from my parents."

"My parents live in Wales, and I'm an only child. I'm here as a plus-one for my friend's work thing, but I work in a book-shop and I'm an aspiring writer. My friend is Peter."

"I'm an artist," Sirius said. "I think we're all good with just that. No-one would expect us to know much about each other after three weeks. The only one who will suspect I'm lying is James… but he won't say anything."

Remus nodded his head. "Let's do this."

...oOo...

Sirius watched as Remus handled each person with ease, talking to them as if he had known them for ages. He stopped worrying quickly about anyone working out the truth.

It didn't take long for James and Lily to show. James shot Sirius a knowing look before hugging Remus. "Good to see you again," he said with a smile. "Last time I never got to talk to you as you were both in a rush. We should catch up soon?"

"Yeah sounds great. Congratulations, James, Lily," Remus replied smiling between them both.

James looked him over for a long moment. "Definitely an improvement," he decided, before leaning closer. "Can you believe Lucius came with Snivellous—"

"James, Severus is my friend," Lily snapped, keeping her voice down. "You said—"

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry, love," James said. "Remus, Sirius, you two look cute together. How about you exchange numbers or go for coffee after this?"

"Uh… if… if Remus wants to," Sirius replied, shooting Remus a shy smile. "I mean, we just—"

Sirius was cut off as the music was turned up, and the plates all cleared away. "First dance," Lily said with a smile. "We've been having lessons."

"You mean you've had lessons," Sirius teased. "I know mum had James learning to dance from when he could walk."

Lily just nodded and handed over her champagne glass and walked off, leaving the pair alone.

"Sirius, do you want to dance with me during the next song?" Remus asked. "Though if you've had lessons, I might look terrible next to you."

Sirius nodded his head. "I'd like that," he murmured, watching Remus carefully. He had known the man for an hour, and he had never felt so at ease and comfortable around someone, though he was certain that the idea of dancing with Remus was causing butterflies in his stomach.

He'd ask Remus later about coffee. He was enjoying the other man's company way too much to be fake boyfriends just for a few hours, never to see him again.

"A couple of dances and then we can get the other guy to realise that you're taken," he said, reaching out and taking Remus' hand.

Remus held tightly, and Sirius hoped that it was because he was interested and not just for show.

...oOo...

The next song had some distance between their bodies which Sirius was pleased about (but also upset, because who _wouldn't_ want this gorgeous man pressed up against them). They murmured questions to each other, getting to know more and more about each other, which Sirius took as a good sign - after all, Remus wouldn't want to know about him if he wasn't interested.

The second danced slowed down, and Sirius took the chance to pull Remus slightly closer. He watched Remus carefully to see if he was uncomfortable with the sudden closeness, but a smile played at his lips once again.

"So… when you approached me outside, I just saw this as a way to… to stick it to Lucius. But I've really enjoyed spending time with you. Let me take you to dinner sometime? Tomorrow? Tonight?"

Remus laughed softly. "We've had dinner," he replied. "But I like your friends suggestion of coffee. There's a coffeeshop in the hotel across the road."

Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"No, I didn't mean… I meant it's the closest place. I was just assuming you're staying there too? That's where I'm staying. I wasn't inviting you to my room… not yet anyway. I don't have sex on the first date."

"So we go between the parties for a while and then for coffee?"

Remus nodded. He pulled away but grabbed Sirius' hand. "We have another party to go to," he insisted. "Come on."

...oOo...

"Remus, where have you been?" a man asked, approaching.

Sirius tightened his grip on Remus, uncertain if this stranger was the one he was supposed to be pretending to or not. Plus, he liked having a reason to pull Remus close.

"Peter, this is Sirius. He's using the function room across the hall for a wedding, but for now, he's my boyfriend. Is Benjy around?"

"Ah," Peter said, nodding. "I gotcha. He's hovering around the bar, watching out for you. He's asked me three times where you are." Peter glanced at Sirius. "Blue and white striped tie."

"Let's go get a drink," Sirius said. "Nice meeting you, Peter. I'll probably be seeing you again."

He led Remus to the bar and saw a man at the other end straighten up. Without warning Remus, Sirius pulled him close, kissing him.

That was it for Sirius. Once their lips met, he felt his head spin and his heart race. Remus grabbed him, tugging him closer. It wasn't until the bartender coughed loudly did they pull apart.

"Was that to get Benjy to lay off?"

Sirius shrugged and shook his head. "Not really. I could have just acted boyfriendly in front of him… I did that because I've been thinking about that since our dance."

"Well, we've shown our faces here," Remus said, pulling Sirius closer. "Coffee now? I want to get to know you better."

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 **Review please :)**

 **1817 words**


	4. Take a Break

Written for: Hogwarts - February Event: Singletons' Problems \- When you are the only single person at a dinner party.

* * *

 **Take a Break**

* * *

Sirius sighed as the plates were passed around the table. He missed Remus.

They had decided to 'take a break' on their relationship, and Remus had decided to skip the dinner party, saying things would be too awkward.

Sirius wasn't sure what he meant by 'take a break'. He didn't know if that meant things were over, or if that meant that they'd get back together.

Or maybe it meant he had lost Remus forever and that he'd get home and Remus' belongings that had made their way to his apartment over the year they had been together would all be gone and the key he had given Remus would be sitting on the table.

"Breathe," James murmured from the next seat. "Stop worrying. He'll be back."

Sirius nodded, reaching for the napkin and proceeded to shred it into tiny pieces as he quickly turned back to his train of thought.

After all, Remus was missing an important dinner party (well, as important as the rest - it was proof they were adults: they went to things like dinner parties these days).

Remus never missed events, even when his health was bad (which was often), he always came but Sirius had ruined it.

He had been too possessive of Remus, getting jealous easily. He had been too clingy. Maybe he wasn't adventurous enough in bed?

Maybe it was because when Remus wasn't well, Sirius went overboard in trying to look after him, even when he could see Remus was starting to get annoyed. Even though Remus was biting his tongue, Sirius couldn't stop looking after him.

That annoyance was the one thing stopping Sirius from asking Remus to live with him. It was a step he _knew_ he was ready for, but a step that he felt Remus wouldn't take. Not until he got more used to Sirius and less likely to dump him.

And this 'take a break' thing just proved to Sirius that Remus was getting sick of him. Remus was probably on another date with a more handsome man. Someone funnier, kinder. Less annoying. Someone with better hair. No, scratch that. No-one had better hair than him.

"Sirius, calm down," James said, pulling his arm. Sirius glanced around, noticing that the napkin was in tiny shreds on the table and all eyes were on him in concern.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked.

Sirius could hear the quiet murmurs—not meant for his ears—from various people around the table.

 _"Remus left him."_

 _"Remus suggested they take a break."_

He pushed his chair back. "I'm sorry, I can't do this," he said before walking out, grabbing his jacket on the way.

...oOo...

Sirius walked into his apartment, looking around. He spotted Remus' book on the side table where he had left it three weeks before, and let out a sigh of relief. Remus hadn't left him.

Drained from his panicking, he turned around and locked the door. It was still early but he couldn't face another minute of that day. He pulled off his jacket and shoes, setting them by the door and stripped as he headed to the bedroom.

He froze at the bedroom door. Remus was asleep on his bed, a book in his hands.

Like it used to be.

Sirius silently walked over to the bed and climbed in, setting the book aside. After a moment of indecision, he decided to lay on his back rather than cuddle Remus like he always did.

It was only a few seconds before Remus rolled over and wrapped his arm around Sirius, cuddling close.

"I'm sorry, forgive me?" Remus murmured, his eyes opening slightly. He stared blearily at Sirius. "I handled things badly."

"You know I'd forgive you anything," Sirius replied, his arms wrapping around Remus.

"I know. I just don't want to do things that need forgiveness," Remus whispered. "I want to be with you, Sirius. You know I love you more than anything. I'm sorry that I got overwhelmed by what you asked me. I just freaked out and needed space to think. Once I had the space, I realised that I was completely miserable without you. I realised that all I could think about was spending the rest of my life with you. I knew without a single doubt that I should have said yes, instead of asking to take a break. Can we talk? Can we fix this?"

"Of course we can," Sirius insisted. "We can get through anything. I love you too, but let's talk in the morning." He smiled as Remus moved closer still, and closed his eyes.

He felt better than he had in weeks. Remus was just overwhelmed. Remus didn't hate him, Remus wasn't annoyed at him.

"Is this for good?" Sirius checked.

"It is," Remus whispered.

Remus loved him, and Sirius was glad he left the dinner party early.

And maybe Remus would say yes next time he proposed.

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 **Review please :)**


	5. Sirius' Sugarbaby

Written for: Hogwarts - February Event: Singletons' Problems \- When you resort to online dating sites/apps

Hogwarts Assignment 7 - Animagus Training - Write about someone willingly going through an uncomfortable experience. Be sure to include the why.

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 **Sirius' Sugarbaby**

 _Dedicated to Raybe_

* * *

Dating was hard, Sirius decided, as he deleted his account from yet _another_ dating site. He glanced at the text James had sent, recommending yet another app to him.

 _'Sirius, why not try okcupid again. You've exhausted all of the sites. Before we know it, you'll end up on something stupid like Seeking Arrangement.'_

Sirius turned to the computer, quickly looking up 'seeking arrangement' in the search engine, and his eyes widened at the idea of having a sugar daddy.

 _No_ , he decided. He liked spoiling his partner a little too much. He wondered what it'd be like to be a sugar daddy himself.

Ignoring all of the information offered, Sirius began to set up a profile, choosing not to put a picture. He liked to pick his dates himself, rather than have people approach him.

Even with no picture, the requests rushed in within minutes, men in some provocative states, offering to be his sugar baby. Sirius ignored each and every offer, instead, searching through the profiles.

He didn't like men like that, ready to throw themselves at a stranger without knowing a single thing: as Sirius has put as little as possible on his profile, including his age. He wanted someone… less obvious.

...oOo...

Two days later, Sirius spotted a profile that caught his attention. The picture was of an adorable looking guy, and Sirius clicked his profile. There was one other picture attached, and Sirius eagerly checked it out.

It was a picture of the whole of the guy. He wore casual clothes: jeans and a slightly oversized jumper and was smiling shyly at the camera. Sirius could tell that the expression wasn't fake—he knew enough fake people to tell these things—the guy was genuinely shy to have his picture taken. In the bottom corner of the picture, there was a date of the previous week.

Sirius clicked out of the picture, heading to the guy's profile.

 _Moony — 23, London, Moony is offering companionship._

Sirius stared at the words for a long time. Pretty much all of the other profiles he had clicked on hinted heavily at offering more than companionship. He searched down the page, finding the join date.

Two weeks before. Moony was clearly new to this too, judging by the profile. He actually put his general likes and dislikes, whilst others put their sexual likes and dislikes. Sirius wondered if the guy had gotten lost on his search for a real dating site.

He clicked the option to contact the man. There was something about the shy expression and the beautiful eyes that had Sirius hooked.

He hoped that this man wouldn't ignore his message.

' _Hello Moony,_

 _I've come across your profile after being on the site for only a couple of days, and this is the first (and only, I hope) message I've sent out._

 _Your pictures stole my attention and I didn't hesitate in my choice to send this to you. I'd really like to meet with you and get to know you, or even talk to you on here if you'd feel more comfortable._

 _I eagerly await your reply._

 _Padfoot.'_

...oOo...

A day passed and Sirius was on edge, waiting for his reply. He had checked a few times, and noticed Moony had been online twice.

He deduced Moony was ignoring him. Sirius considered putting a picture up, but decided against it. He opened his last message to Moony.

 _'Hello Moony,_

 _I'm sorry to bother you a second time if you've already decided against responding. I just can't give up this easily. I find you attractive and interesting and would really like to meet with you._

 _I'd like to take you to dinner one day. If it would help your choice, I'd be willing to send you a picture. I'm not a creepy old man, I promise!_

 _Padfoot.'_

...oOo...

It wasn't until the next day that he received a reply.

 _'Hi Padfoot,_

 _Thank you for your message. I'm sorry it took so long to reply. I was in between classes when I saw it, and had an emergency which made it hard to sit and write out a proper reply._

 _I would be happy to meet you for dinner, but with no expectations, if that's alright with you?_

 _Moony.'_

Sirius grinned. He quickly replied, eager to arrange a date and time for the meeting. Once it was set up, he headed to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, eager for the following evening when he'd finally meet Moony.

...oOo...

It was fifteen minutes before the meeting and Sirius leaned nervously against the bar, watching his phone. He had told Moony to message him when he arrived, and then he'd come and find him.

'I'm here.'

Sirius glanced around and his gaze quickly fell on a man who was also looking around nervously. The man's lip was between his teeth as he searched and Sirius started over.

"Moony?" he said, as he got closer. The man quickly turned, his eyes widening at the sight of Sirius.

"Padfoot?"

Sirius nodded his head.

"When you said you weren't a creepy old man… well, you weren't kidding," Moony replied, holding out his hand. "Remus, nice to meet you."

"Sirius, wonderful to meet you," Sirius murmured, staring at Remus. The picture didn't do him justice. In person, Remus was beautiful. Sirius knew that he'd do whatever needed to have Remus be his. Whatever Remus asked. "Dinner?"

Remus nodded, looking extremely nervous and Sirius put his hand gently on Remus' back, leading him towards the podium.

"Table for two, Sirius Black," Sirius said. The man almost fell over himself at the name and quickly guided them to the back of the restaurant, where the tables had more distance between them, offering more privacy and a more romantic setting.

Sirius quickly pulled out a chair for Remus, before sitting down himself, quick enough to notice that Remus was blushing.

"I was going to say we should eat first and discuss second, but maybe we should get the heavy stuff out of the way so we can enjoy our dinner?"

"Whatever you like," Remus said nervously.

"Actually, this will be a mutual agreement, so it's whatever we both like," Sirius assured him. "Uh… have you done this before?"

Remus nodded. "Well, I've had one meeting so far but I turned him down."

"Why?"

A moment's hesitation. "The guy scared me. He was… talking about things in the contract and… I just got a bad vibe from him to tell the truth." He shuddered. "I felt bad, like I was leading him on by even turning up. He just assumed that since I was there, I was agreeing to anything he wanted."

"Which is why you said 'no expectations to me?' Sirius asked.

"Yes, Mr. Black," Remus murmured.

Sirius reached across the table. "Sirius, please," he murmured. "Well, I'm going to tell you the truth. I've never done this. I'm just really terrible at dating. I don't have high expectations. I'm just quite lonely. My best friend is getting married and moved out of our place, and I… I just want someone to spend time with, someone to take out to dinner or if I have a party or event to go to. Someone to talk to about my day. I know the site talks about the sexual side… but… I don't know how I feel about that."

Remus visibly relaxed at Sirius' words. "Companionship is nice," he agreed softly. "Though when you said your name… you could have anyone, Mr. Black. Why me?"

"Because all the people I tend to meet are fake," Sirius admitted. "There was something genuine about you. Your smile… it wasn't one of the fake ones in the other pictures I've seen, where the person is trying to be seductive. Plus, your profile was about the real you. Everyone else slipped in what they were willing to do in bed. I'm so glad you agreed to meet. If you had said no, I'd… well, I was going to offer to pay you to meet me."

Remus smiled shyly. "All that fuss for me?" he sounded confused and Sirius could tell that it was genuine. The urge to keep Remus and buy him everything overtook Sirius.

"What I was thinking was one evening a weekend, if possible. I'll take you to dinner or the theatre or… or somewhere. We talk and get to know each other. In return, you get a credit-card with… ten thousand a month, just to start. Plus, I'd like to buy you things."

"Ten thousand?" Remus whispered.

"Crap, I knew that wasn't enough. You're worth more than that… fifteen—"

"No!" Remus said, holding his hands up. "I wasn't asking for more… Ten thousand will be more than enough. But.. there's no sex, and—"

"Remus, I'm not going to pay for sex," Sirius said. "If you ever decide you want that, we can discuss it. But this is companionship. Friendship. So I'm taking someone interesting out with me."

Remus' smile widened. "This is a contract I can agree to."

"But can I ask you one thing: why were you on that site?"

Remus let out a small sigh. "It's best I tell you now," he murmured. "I don't want to be. It was… a last resort really. My mum isn't well and I can't work because I care for her and go to uni at the same time. Any money I do have is used to cover carers to come in when I'm not there. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure my mum is looked after."

"Even meet strangers?" Sirius murmured.

"I was expecting the worst," Remus admitted. "But I'm very surprised and relieved now I've met you. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better."

"Me too," Sirius said, already mentally planning on moving Remus into a new, bigger apartment and hiring his mother the best full-time carer available. "Now, enough business. Let's order dinner and then we can talk some more."

Remus beamed at Sirius before excusing himself to go to the loo. Sirius watched after him, knowing that he was quite screwed. He was the man's sugar-daddy after all. He had known Remus all of a few minutes.

It was quite possible he was in love, and he had no intentions of ever letting Remus go.

* * *

 **Review please :)**


	6. Too Picky

Written for: Hogwarts - February Event: Singletons' Problems \- When your friends tell you that you are being too 'picky'

Prompt from Raybe: Write about a pairing/relationship from a third party's point of view. (Eg. James observing WolfStar.)

* * *

 **Too Picky**

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing this and the previous chapter.

* * *

"What was wrong with this one?" James asked tiredly.

"He just wasn't… right for me," Sirius replied.

"No, really. What was wrong?" James insisted.

"If you must know… he wore too much yellow."

James stared at him. "Too much… yellow?"

Sirius nodded. "His shoes were yellow, so was his t-shirt. He had a yellow wallet!"

"But… but you love yellow?" Remus asked, softly, trying to understand.

"I love mustard yellow," Sirius corrected him. "Plus, I didn't like his shoes."

"What was wrong with his shoes?" Peter asked.

"They were trainers."

"And…" James pushed.

"He had them laced wrong," Sirius said, folding his arms. "I thought you said he was a perfect fit, James."

...oOo...

James didn't even ask this time. Sirius just sank down onto the chair, frowning, his arms folded.

"What—" Remus began.

"He was wearing red shorts with a blue jacket. Who does that?" Sirius demanded.

"What? The colours?" Peter asked.

"No. Who wears shorts in winter? His socks almost reached his knees. Bad call, guys."

...oOo...

James wanted to cry at the expression on Sirius' face. "You are too picky," he accused.

"I'm not. All I was saying was that he couldn't pull off a cardigan."

"What does that even mean?" James begged.

"It means that I don't want to date someone that looks ridiculous in a cardigan."

"So… no cardigans?"

"Whoa - hold up there, James, I never said that. I just said this guy looked ridiculous in one. Plus, he was shorter than me. What was that about? And the pale blond hair. Why not just set me up with Malfoy while you're at it?"

James sighed. Thankfully it was Peter's turn to set Sirius up next.

...oOo...

The trio watched Sirius hopefully as he came in, but he dropped down heavily, his feet hitting the table and pouted.

"Who in their right minds doesn't like chocolate?" he snapped, after a long moment of silence. "He said it's bad for his teeth. I thought I said no nutters, James!"

"Peter set you up with—"

"No excuses. I told you to find my soulmate. Are you even trying, any of you?"

...oOo...

"We walked past the bookshop and I suggested going in and he said _NO_!"

"Well, in all fairness, you hate going into bookshops," Remus pointed out.

" _I_ may hate bookshops, but he's not supposed to," Sirius snapped, glaring at all of them in turn. "I may have to go to a professional matchmaker. James, I thought we were besties!"

"We are," James said, before leaning forward and banging his head on the table until Remus stopped him.

...oOo...

The trio held a meeting. It was needed. They either needed to find Sirius the perfect bloke, or convince him not to date anyone, ever.

"Right, what do we know?" Peter asked.

"He doesn't want someone shorter than him," James began.

"Someone who likes chocolate," Remus recalled.

"And the bookshop. So someone who likes to read," Peter said.

"What else?" Remus asked, frowning slightly as he tried to think.

"No yellow… or shoes that aren't laced up properly," Peter offered.

"And someone who looks good in cardigans," James added. "Now, where can we find someone who…" he trailed off, his eyes fixing on Remus. "For Orion's sake, Sirius," he snapped, though Sirius wasn't in the room. "It's so obvious! Why didn't we work this out before?"

"Who?" Remus asked, his eyes widening.

"You!" James said, pointing at Remus. "He's basically picking things he likes about you. You're taking him to dinner tonight and you better not wear a fucking yellow cardigan or trainers because I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"Oh. O...okay, I'll go and get dressed," Remus said, eagerly standing up and rushing from the room.

"He was eager," James commented, narrowing his eyes.

"What have you done?" Peter asked, horrified. "If they start dating, they'll be having sex. We'll have to move out if either of us want any sleep."

James dropped down into the chair behind him. Peter was right. What had he done?

* * *

 **Review please :)**


	7. Matchmaking

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When a friend plays matchmaker and tries to set you up on dates

* * *

 **Matchmaking**

* * *

Sirius headed into the coffee-shop twenty minutes late, quickly spotting the man from James' picture. It didn't matter that this guy was gorgeous. All that mattered was that James was setting him up _again_ and therefore he was going to have an awful time. Time that could be spent at home playing computer games or taking a much needed nap.

James was pretty clueless when it came to matchmaking, after all.

Sirius ignored the man, heading to the counter and buying himself a drink before walking over.

The guy—some name beginning with R, he thought—looked up from his book.

"Sirius? Hi, I'm Remus."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, okay," he muttered, dropping down into the seat facing.

Remus stared at him for a long moment, sizing him up. "You know… James has set me up on loads of dates," he said.

"You too?" Sirius asked, relieved that it wasn't just him that James had sunk his evil, matchmaking claws into. "What's wrong with him? It's like he's dating so he expects everyone else to be absurdly happy too."

"Yeah, he's a pain. The thing is, I don't really want to do these blind dates. I mean, you were twenty minutes late, but I was ten minutes late myself, hoping to annoy you so we could cut this short."

Sirius nodded. This guy was totally on the same page as him. He relaxed back into his seat.

"But then James texted saying that he'll be angry if we don't spend at least two hours together."

Sirius frowned as Remus pulled out his phone, showing the text from James. He shifted in his seat. "What should we do?"

"Look, either we can ignore each other for two hours and pretend we had fun, or we could do something with no expectations and part ways in a couple of hours, telling James that things didn't work out but at least we tried."

Sirius considered the idea. It would be easier to be polite to the guy. After all, Sirius had nothing against him. It was against James playing matchmaker all of the time. This was his eleventh date, after all.

"I have a book, but would you want two hours of silence? It'd get boring," Remus added.

"No, let's finish our drinks. We can find something to do," Sirius replied, smiling. If it wasn't a date, then it was fine to hang out with Remus. That's what friends did, right?

...oOo...

"So, what should we do?" Sirius asked.

"Hold on, I just have to open Pokemon Go," Remus murmured. "I need to hatch an egg whilst I walk."

"You play Pokemon Go?" Sirius asked, his eyes widening. "James won't let me even talk about that when he's around."

"He just doesn't know how to appreciate the game," Remus replied.

Sirius pulled out his phone. He was half-way through hatching a egg himself after all, when Remus made an odd squeaking sound.

"There is a Snorlax at the next Pokestop," he said, his gaze shooting to Sirius. Sirius took a moment to appreciate his pretty eyes before nodding. He grabbed Remus' arm.

"Let's go!"

...oOo...

"Okay, I've been upgrading my bag constantly," Remus admitted. "I have tons of revives and potions and stuff. I think we can take this gym over."

"But there are ten trainers in the gym and two of us," Sirius said, glancing up at the clock in the middle of the market and frowning. "Do we really want this clock?"

"Do you want the blues to take what should belong to us?" Remus asked. "No. We can do it because we're team yellow."

"Yeah," Sirius replied, nodding his head. "I'll give it a shot. They shouldn't underestimate us. We can win this!"

...oOo...

"You know, we've been at this for three hours now," Remus said, pushing his phone into his pocket. "We can tell James we made a good try. Sorry it didn't work out."

Sirius watched in shock as Remus leaned in and kissing his cheek, before turning and walking away. What did Remus mean, it didn't work out?

"No!" Sirius called. "Remus, come back." He rushed after him, catching up just as Remus turned around.

"Sirius?" Remus turned, meeting Sirius' gaze and Sirius could see how hopeful Remus looked. Sirius wondered if he had even wanted to walk away, or if he did because he thought Sirius wanted him to.

"Okay, so James is a pain, but maybe this time he picked well… and I don't have to be home until tonight. We could… catch more pokemon?" Sirius suggested, feeling shy.

"My battery is almost dead," Remus admitted. "Unless you fancy doing something else?"

"Well, how about something to eat and the cinema?"

Remus smiled softly. "That sounds like a date."

"Yeah… I guess it does. So… wanna go on a date with me right now?"

Remus moved closer, leaving only inches between their faces, and for a second, Sirius thought Remus was going to kiss him. "Sounds perfect."

"It does," Sirius replied, his heart pounding against his chest as he took his chance, leaning in and letting their lips meet.

* * *

 **Review Please :)**

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing


	8. Advice

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When a friend keeps asking you for advice on their relationship

* * *

 **Advice**

* * *

"So, there's this guy I like," Remus began, twisting his hands in his lap. "I need your help."

Sirius frowned at Remus, his good mood instantly disappearing. "Do I look like I know anything about dating?" he snapped. "It's why I'm single. Go and ask James."

His frown softened as he noticed how hurt Remus looked at his words. Sirius immediately regretted them, hating that he had upset Remus. "Sorry, Remus," he said, trying to smile and calm himself down. He reached out for Remus' hand, taking it in his own. "Talk to me."

Remus watched him wearily. "I like this guy, but I'm scared."

"If the guy is scary, tell me his name and me and James will talk to him," Sirius said. "No-one's allowed to mess with you. I'll go right now and—"

"No. I mean, I'm scared of asking him out or telling him how I feel. How do I know if he feels the same?"

"Has he given any indication that he feels the same?" Sirius asked, tracing little patterns into Remus' skin.

Remus nodded. "He… he hugs me sometimes. Lots of the time I mean. He's always touching me, but nicely. He'll stroke my hair, or hold my hand, but he'll act like it doesn't mean anything more than friends. Or maybe he does mean more, but just can't find a way to tell me."

Sirius jumped up. "How dare he touch you like that!" He pulled him off the bed. "Show me where he is. I'm going to _kill_ him."

Remus pulled back and Sirius turned, reaching up to cup his cheek. "Remus, whoever he is, he's not good enough for you. No-one is. At the very least, let me have words with him and make sure he'll treat you right."

Remus' hand moved up, covering the hand over his cheek and he smiled shyly. "See, he's always touching me somehow," he said, staring in Sirius' eyes.

Sirius stared at him for a long moment, before suddenly realising what was going on. "Oh! Do you mean… me?" He couldn't help but check, scared of messing up the moment if he had misunderstood the situation.

Remus nodded his head slowly, not letting go of Sirius' hand. He took a small step forward. "So… should I tell you how I feel?"

"Please," Sirius whispered, his eyes darting to the bed. "Or you could show me."

Remus grinned. He leaned in, his lips brushing Sirius' softly. "Your bed or mine?"

* * *

 **Review Please :)**

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing.


	9. No Time For Girls

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When you get constant questions about your love life

* * *

 **No Time For Girls**

* * *

"So," Sirius' Uncle Cygnus began, turning his attention to Sirius during dinner. "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"

Sirius quickly shook his head. "There's no time for girls. I have to study. I don't want to go to Uni and not know anything about my course. I need to work through the books… and stuff."

Cygnus shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with meeting girls to blow off some steam," he pointed out. "You work yourself too hard."

"Leave the boy," Orion said, shooting Sirius a proud look. "He knows what's important. He knows that he'll be head of this family one day and everyone will look to him. Girls aren't important, are they, son?"

"Of course not, Father," Sirius assured him. "I have no time for them."

...oOo...

"So, the talk is over. Do you understand the importance of condoms or abstinence?" Walburga asked.

Sirius looked at the floor, feeling extremely unwell after his mother gave him the sex talk. "I understand," he murmured. "I have no plans to sleep with any girls."

"Because University can be a daunting place. Everyone there will know you are one of the most powerful students on campus and girls especially will try and seduce someone with your social standing. You don't want to start off your life with having to pay maintenance to a girl you've impregnated."

"I assure you that I'm not going to impregnate anyone," Sirius said determinedly.

"Because girls are gold-diggers," Walburga continued.

Sirius tuned her out once more. His father had given him the sex talk three times over the years, and none of those times had been as horrible or awkward as his mother's talk.

...oOo...

"Who is that redhead you were talking to?" Walburga Black demanded. "You best not be consorting with her. She looks like she should be cooking our dinner, not sitting at our table to eat it." She glared after the girl in disgust, though the redhead didn't turn around to see.

"Mother, she's just a girl who is doing the same course as me. It's good for me to talk to those in my classes and make friends. If I'm ever sick and can't make class, I need to know who'll… help me with notes and who not to be partnered with. I'm not consorting with her - I'm not consorting with anyone."

"I will check with my club to see if there are any eligible women here. Perhaps it's time you started looking for someone who is wife material." Walburga looked at the redhead once more, concerned for her son. "Girls may appear nice, but they are all harpies, eager to get their hands on your fortune. Don't trust them."

"We agreed that we'd wait on the marriage thing until I had finished here," Sirius replied, frowning slightly. "That was the deal. A wife would… would distract me from my courses. A girlfriend would distract me. I have no intention of even dating a woman, I assure you, Mother."

"It's that James Potter that distracts you," Walburga snapped. "Tell me he isn't your roommate?"

"Mother, he's not my roommate. Mine won't arrive until tomorrow. I've done as you've asked and requested someone who is quiet and won't throw parties."

"I still don't understand why you don't want your own room," Walburga complained. "The University has a hall named after us, and—"

"And I want the proper university experience. Roommates included."

...oOo...

"So, are you single? Should I be checking for ties on the door as a sign that you've got a girl in here? Bunk-beds? I thought we'd get two single beds, but that's fine… I have a poster I want to put up, but seriously, about the girl thing..."

Sirius turned around, setting down his paintbrush and admiring the work he couldn't do at home. He turned, ready to greet the rambling stranger who was clearly his roommate, and clearly adorably awkward, but froze at the sight of him.

He was absolutely adorable and Sirius' mouth dropped open as he slowly took in the other man. He was taller than Sirius, and wearing a cardigan and a beanie. He clutched a laptop in his arms and he was staring back at Sirius, clearly appreciating what he could see.

"I'm gay," he blurted out, before silently scolding himself. That wasn't how he planned to tell his roommate. He _had_ planned on starting with his name. He just wanted the stranger to know that he wasn't straight. Straight Sirius had stayed back in his parents house, this was where he'd be himself, learn art on the side to the courses his parents chose, and then moved in with James when his parents found out the truth.

"Cool. I'm bi. So… what do you prefer? Top or bottom?"

If Sirius was drinking something, he would have spat it out. "What?" he squeaked, unable to stop himself picturing his new roommate both on top and bottoming. Both wonderful sights in his opinion.

"I was asking top or bottom bunk?" His roommate smiled mischievously.

"Oh… I prefer top, but for you, anything," he murmured, his gaze raking down his roommate's body once more as he realised that it was going to be a great stay at Uni.

* * *

Review Please :)

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing


	10. Sirius Wins

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When that person you thought would be in a relationship after you gets a boyfriend/girlfriend

* * *

 **Sirius Wins**

* * *

"How has _Snape_ got himself a date?" Sirius whined, kicking at some clothes on the floor.

"Because he actually asked someone out," James replied.

"Actually, I think Lucius was the one that asked Snape out," Remus pointed out.

Sirius pouted. "But Snape is… Snape. I get so overlooked all of the time."

James and Remus shared a look. It was possible they were about to see Sirius sulking as usual. "Okay, so he's got a boyfriend first," James replied carefully. "You can still do other things first."

"Like what?"

"Well, I bet they haven't kissed yet. I mean, it is Snape after all—no-one wants to kiss someone like Snape. So if you kiss someone, you win." James turned to Remus. "Go and kiss Sirius."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "You want me to kiss him so he'll win?"

"Not just that. I'm sure he's a good kisser. Just go and kiss him."

Remus glared at James who sighed. "Where's Peter—" James started, looking around the room.

"I am _not_ kissing Peter," Sirius said, pulling a face. "Remus, are you sure you don't want a kiss?" The idea of kissing Remus was a lot more pleasant than the idea of kissing James or Peter. Well, James would be okay, but Remus was the best option. He had nice lips and Sirius didn't even want to start thinking about /that Remus dream/ from the other night.

"Not if it's just so you can win against Snape."

"Oh." Sirius pouted once more at the idea that his dream wouldn't come true. Suddenly a horrible thought hit him. "So you never want to kiss me?"

"I… didn't say never," Remus muttered. "I just… you just want to kiss me so you can beat Snape at something. This will be my first kiss too, you know. I don't want to kiss you and for you to think it's nothing."

James slowly backed away to the door. He was pretty certain his friends were going to end up snogging and he didn't want to see that.

"Well, what about if I wanted to kiss you, nothing to do with Snape," Sirius said. "Look, I don't want to push you into anything, but… but I'd like to kiss you. If not today, one day. I'm just putting that out there."

"One day? But… you want to beat Snape?"

"He's got Lucius and if I get to date you, well, I easily beat everyone in the world."

James pulled the door closed behind him. The last thing he had seen was Remus getting up from his bed and walking over to Sirius, a blush on his cheeks.

Sirius was going to be the first Marauder to get kissed. Well, Sirius and Remus. He'd ask them about it later and get some tips. Lily would agree to go out with him one day and he needed all of the advice he could get.

Even if it was _Sirius_ giving the advice.

* * *

Review Please :)

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing.


	11. Finding Teddy

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When everyone you know is getting married or having children

* * *

Finding Teddy

* * *

"So," James said, once the party had started up. "I have something to tell you."

"Yeah, I heard. You're getting married," Sirius muttered.

James shook his head. "That's what the party is for, but… there's something else. It's not the reason we're getting married, but it's the reason why we're getting married so soon rather than next year."

"What do you mean?"

"We also didn't want to take the attention away from Alice since she only made her announcement during her dinner party yesterday."

Sirius took a step back. "Oh, Lily's…"

"Yeah."

"You're going to be... Prongs, are you sure about this? You can barely look after yourself!"

"Well, we'll have you to help. Don't tell anyone. I mean, I told Mum and Dad earlier, and Lily is telling her best friend, Remus."

"The elusive best friend. I still don't believe he exists."

James laughed. "Why?"

"Because every time he's invited to something I'm invited to, he doesn't come. I've never met him and you've been with Lily for almost a year."

"Well, he's here today. I'll introduce you. I think you'd get along well. He's single, attractive. Likes men…"

"Sounds like you want me to take him home with me," Sirius said, winking.

"And he has a four-year-old son. He's a single father," James finished. "So… best behaviour."

Sirius pouted. He was _always_ on his best behaviour. It was a shame this Remus bloke was bringing his son. After all, he was sure that he'd be the best man at James' wedding and Remus would be the man-of-honour - or whatever the male version of maid-of-honour is - and it was a rule that they hook up.

"Whatever you are thinking, stop it," James said. "I know that face means nothing good."

...oOo...

"I'm lost."

Sirius jumped, quickly spinning around at the voice. He looked down at the little boy. "Kid, you shouldn't be outside," he said, dropping his cigarette and stamping on it to put it out. He took the boy's hand and headed back inside.

As he headed towards the hall, he saw a man rush towards them. "There you are!" the man said, grabbing Teddy. He looked extremely relieved at the sight and smiled at Sirius. "Thank you for finding him!"

"He was outside," Sirius supplied. "He said he was lost."

"Thank you. Teddy, I told you to stay with Lily whilst I used the loo. That was very naughty of you to wander off."

"I followed the man. I like his hair," Teddy said, pointing at Sirius. "And he has sparkles on his fingers."

"Sorry, mate, I didn't see him come out," Sirius said, glancing down at his glittery fingernails. "Your dad's right, kid. Next time, wait for someone to come back inside. You could have gotten lost."

The boy's lips started to shake and tears appeared in his eyes. Sirius glanced up at the dad helplessly.

"Can I brush your hair?" Teddy asked, his voice shaking.

Sirius looked down at the little boy who looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment. "Sure, kid," he said, knowing he'd regret it.

...oOo...

Sirius winced as the brush smacked him hard on the head before the boy pulled it down. The man had disappeared to get drinks and Sirius wasn't quite sure why he had agreed to what the kid asked.

The father returned quickly, setting down some beers. "I'm sorry about Teddy, he can be quite a handful. Lily only took her eye off him for a moment, but that's how quick he can disappear. Thank you for finding him."

"Well, according to Teddy, I'm the reason he disappeared in the first place," Sirius laughed. He held out his hand. "Sirius Black."

"Remus Lupin," the man replied, reaching out to shake Sirius' hand.

"Oh, so you're Remus, are you? I've been hearing about you for a year. I was convinced you didn't exist," Sirius joked.

"Sorry," Remus said, smiling. "Teddy was small and had a few health issues. He's not so bad the last few weeks, but I still worry. We spend a lot of time indoors. What else have you heard about me?"

"Single and attractive keep popping up. I think James was a bit obvious about that. I think you have an admirer," Sirius chuckled.

"Lily would kill me. I'll just have to live with a broken heart and buy a hundred cats as I mourn what me and James could have had."

The brushing stopped. "Daddy, are we getting a hundred kitties?"

"Hats," Sirius quickly replied. "Your dad is going to buy a hundred hats."

"Oh." The hairbrush thunked Sirius on the head again before being pulled sideways through his hair. "I like hats."

"Good save," Remus said, amused. "We probably own that many hats already between us." He glanced between the pair for a moment. "So… I've been hearing a lot about how you're single and a great guy, and Teddy doesn't usually take a shine to people like this which is why I don't date often… Maybe… maybe I could see you again."

"What?" Sirius asked.

"I mean, I can't really date because I have Teddy… but I can order in a great takeaway."

"Isn't this the part where you impress me with your cooking skills?"

"Trust me, they wouldn't impress anyone," Remus snorted. "So… dinner one day?"

"Sure. But let me cook for you," Sirius insisted, wincing once more as the brush hit him on the head. "Stay still!" Teddy ordered, crossly. "I haven't put any clips in yet!"

* * *

Review Please :)

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing


	12. Sirius' Stories

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When you start mentally dating a celebrity

* * *

Sirius' Stories

* * *

Sirius turned off the television, letting out a loud sigh. His head was starting to hurt from watching it and the computer would set a better pace. Plus, seeing Remus Lupin on the screen inspired him greatly.

He started up the computer, ignoring the third book in the series he was writing and headed to his fiction account, quickly logging in.

He didn't want to lose his idea.

Usually, Sirius hated self-inserts in stories, but he couldn't resist this time. He opened a new document and began to type. As he wrote, he pictured amber eyes and shaggy hair. He pictured Remus in his oversized jumper and with his perfect lips and stupidly adorable beanie on the top of his head.

Well, in the story they didn't stay on for long of course. It /was/ Remus Lupin after all.

A few hours later, the story was posted to his account and Sirius decided to get himself some dinner before working on the third book in his series. He ate quickly, heading to the computer to close the previous tabs, when he noticed he already had a few reviews.

' _Padfoot,_

 _Once again, your story impresses me. I'm not a fan of self-inserts like you stated you've done in your A/N, but your style of writing and choice of words really drew me in… as usual. I know I say this every time, but I love your writing._

 _Moony.'_

Sirius smiled. Moony had been a reviewer of his stuff for the past year. Ever since he had started writing about his love, Remus Lupin. Sirius assumed Moony was a fan of the actor too, because the person always took time to review the Remus stories, no matter how long or short they were.

He clicked to send a message to Moony to thank him for the review before he got back to fantasising about Remus Lupin.

* * *

Review Please :)

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing


	13. Cardigans

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When you start to wonder if there is something wrong with you

* * *

 **Cardigans**

* * *

Sirius watched his date storm out of the restaurant and wondered where he went wrong. Things were going just fine between him and Benjy. They were spending time together, they were having fun. He was rocking Benjy's world…

And Benjy had taken one look at the gift and gone crazy, ranting about cardigans and jumpers and knitwear in general. Benjy said he _hated_ knitwear.

Sirius glanced at the beautiful cardigan that he had spent weeks picking out for Benjy and sighed. At least he could get a refund in the shop for it.

The more and more Sirius thought about it, the more he wondered if there was something wrong with him. Sure he didn't wear cardigans himself, and jumpers were only put on in the cold weather, but that was a style choice. He didn't want to be the wearer, he wanted to be the wearee', if that was even a word. It probably was, Sirius decided.

There was no crime in appreciating someone wearing beautiful knitwear.

...oOo...

Sirius walked into the shop the next day, heading straight for the counter. He was already mourning the loss of the cardigan, but he wasn't someone who would hold onto it to gift it to the next partner he had. Each person had their own suited style of knitwear after all. The next one might not look good in that shade of blue, with that type of stitch on the cardigan and with the brown buttons.

There was no queue.

Sirius waited and a man quickly appeared. "Can I help you?"

"I'd like to return this cardigan," Sirius said, mournfully.

The man looked at it. "Is there a problem with it?"

" _I_ don't think there's a problem," he started. "But my boyfriend… ex-boyfriend found a problem with it."

"Oh. Well, what did he find wrong? Was there a mark or hole, or—"

"He said that cardigans were horrible."

The man behind the counter looked suitably appalled and shocked. "He said what?"

"I know!" Sirius exclaimed. "Finally, someone who understands. Why can't a man appreciate another man wearing jumpers and cardigans." He lowered his voice. "He said I have a fetish. What is he even talking about? Just because I spent three weeks picking out the best cardigan for him."

"Clearly you put a lot of thought into that gift," the man behind the counter said, crossing his arms. "I'll do your refund for you. There should be more men out there like you, Mr…"

"Sirius Black."

"Mr. Black," the man said. "There should be more men like you. My ex bought me a football shirt for my birthday last month. I just like wearing my jumpers."

Sirius perked up at the word. "Thick, knitted ones?" he asked, hopefully.

The man nodded. "He knows I like my cardigans too. He wasn't a fan."

Sirius was upset at the idea of the handsome sales assistant wearing a football shirt instead of cardigans. "Do you own many?"

"More than I can count. Maybe I could wear one… over dinner?"

Sirius beamed at him. This was the best day of his life. Someone who actually _wanted_ to wear cardigans. "I'd love that," he murmured in his most seductive voice.

Yes, things were really looking up.

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Review Please :)

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing.


	14. Too Many Cats

Written for:

Hogwarts Singletons Challenge - Prompt: When you are in danger of owning too many cats

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Too Many Cats

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Sirius had only gone into the shelter to get out of the rain. He was only going to pretend to look at the animals before making excuses and leaving.

What he hadn't expected was to meet Remus Lupin.

What he certainly hadn't expected was to be taking one of the cats home with him, along with all the important stuff that _Lady_ needed to be well cared for.

Sirius didn't even like cats. But there was something about Remus Lupin that he couldn't say no to.

...oOo...

Sirius was appropriately upset when he returned to buy Lady a new toy (and to see Remus of course) and found out that Ursula may be put down. Remus was devastated over the cat so Sirius was too. After all, he didn't want Remus to be sad about anything.

Sirius liked to think that he had bonded with Remus at that time, over this ugly cat.

He decided that it wasn't bonding: in fact, Remus may actually hate him, as he walked home with the second cat. A big grey brute of a cat that was blind in one eye and extremely old.

...oOo...

It didn't matter if Sirius recognised the cat from down the road. It had no collar and that's all that mattered. He scooped the feline up and headed to the shelter, explaining to Remus about the stray cat and how he had tried to take it home, but poor Ursula got upset with it. He knew it would put him in Remus' good books and maybe get him closer to the date he wanted.

Remus had the solution. Sirius couldn't bring himself to say no as Remus unloaded another cat onto him. A kitten, Pascal.

Sirius knew he shouldn't keep returning to the shelter, but there was something hypnotising about Remus' smile. Sirius wondered if Remus convinced everyone to take home twenty cats each, just by smiling at them.

...oOo...

"You know, that's eight cats," Remus said.

Sirius watched him warily, scared that Remus planned to give him a ninth cat. He was ready to bolt, when Remus reached out, his hand resting on Sirius' arm. "You're saving lives. Four of those were going to be put down. I didn't know there were people that loved animals as much as I do. You're amazing."

Sirius was still wary, but beamed at the praise.

"I was wondering… maybe I could come over and see the cats sometime? If… if that's okay?"

Sirius nodded his head. "As long as you don't bring another with you," he insisted. "I think eight is enough."

Remus laughed. "Of course. No more cats. But… we have some snakes dropped off the other day… would you be interested in adopting one? Or how about a turtle?"

Remus smiled softly, hopefully, and Sirius found himself nodded. "The turtle," he muttered. "But only if you go to dinner with me."

"Deal!"

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Review Please :)

Thanks to Lizzy for betaing


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